Twas the Night Before Christmas - Hoonigan Style

'Twas the Night before Christmas---Hoonigan Style

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the shops

Not a creature was stirring, not even old Pops;

The mufflers were sitting by the chimney with care,

In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would hoon there;

The children were nestled all snug in their Vette beds,

while visions of super cars drifted in their heads;

And mamma in her leathers, and I in my T,

had just returned home from a winter hooning spree,

When out on the street there arose such a cloud,

I sprang from the bed to see what was so loud.

Away to the window I ran like The Flash,

Ripped open the window to see if he'd crash.

When, what to my wondering eyes did I see,

But a fat little man, in a Shelby GT,

Now that old driver was so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.

Well 650 + horse power he had to tame,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called it some names;

"Now, light up those tires you spicy young Vixen!

Traction control off cause these tires we're Blitzen!"

As he hooned around trees I thought "that thing can fly,"

His driving finesse you just can't deny,

So house to house, man he just flew,

Delivering car parts and tires to the hooners that were true.

As I ran to the shop to see him come round,

Through the man-door he crept without making a sound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to lead foot,

And his clothes were all tarnished with gasoline and soot;

A bundle of goodies he had slung on his back,

I could only hope that one was my Tach.

He had a hot rodders face and a racer's beer belly,

I thought for a moment he had swallowed a Pirelli

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old hooner,

My only wish was that I could have met him sooner;

A wink of his eye and a nod of his head,

Let me know that I got some new tire tread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to the bench,

And laid out new tools; and finished off with a wrench,

He sprang to his Shelby, as he hit the gas hard I heard the supercharger whistle,

And away he launched as though in a missile

But I heard him exclaim, as he hooned out of sight,

"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a Good-Night."