Suicide – From The Other Side Of The Dirt

I’m a little mad. I gotta vent; I gotta rant. This post is me, speaking from my heart and my emotions, based on past and

on recent personal events.

Here it is:

Do you feel so much guilt that you want to put it on the ones that love you ten-fold? How is that even fair?

You may have made mistakes; that’s part of being human. The ones that love you will never have problems forgiving you for such things. Even the biggest of mistakes can be forgiven.

As unfortunate as it seems, some people can’t forgive themselves for their bad choices and mistakes, and they (selfishly) take their own lives, thinking that will make the pain finally stop…and they are not wrong. And though their pain does end, in the process, they chose, needlessly and without any resolve, to pass on all of the pain and anguish they have gone through to the ones who loved them most.

If you in the terrible position of feeling overwhelmed by guilt and shame, and you are thinking about making it end… while you consider your options, let me tell you a bit about how it feels to be one of those who loved you.

Consider a few things:

1.   What has happened, and is it reparable?  Addictions – solvable; Crimes – solvable; Heartbreak – solvable; Depression – solvable; Jobless – solvable; Fear – solvable! As a matter of fact, there is help in place for any reason and motive; suicide does not have to be the only option.

2.   Are you doing it out of anger? Remember, there is no coming back from death. Was the wrong you feel someone committed against you so bad that you want it to be a burden on them, to punish them, for the rest of their life? Maybe you think it will mean you “win” over that other person, but in actuality, you won’t be here to enjoy your victory.

3.  What happens when you are gone? Do you think the problems just go away? Well, they don’t; you have just passed them on to all of the ones closest to you. Not only that, you have left infinite numbers of questions unanswered.

 So here I ask again: has the world dealt you such a poor set of cards that you think there is only the one way out?

Let’s consider how the ones who love you will have to deal with it, right from the beginning to the end and see if this is what you want for them:

1.   Who will find you, and how will they find you? Dealing with death is not a job for your average person, as 98% of the population will never have to discover someone dead. How will they be able to deal with a memory that can never be erased from their mind?  (Personally, as I sit here writing this, I can say I have not had a proper sleep in 8 days since the last suicide in my life). Please, don’t put this on anyone; it’s just not fair!

2.    So now you are dead; all of your problems will no longer effect you… but who is next in line to take on your burdens? Is it your Mom and Dad? I don’t believe for a minute that they never tried to help you through your problems. Maybe consider that instead of letting your pride get the best of you or worrying they will think less of you. In the long run, if you choose to fight instead of succumbing to those thoughts of escape, they would see you as a hero for overcoming things. All you have to do is say “Yes, I accept your help”.  If you choose suicide instead, you have chosen to burden them with a never-ending grief of losing a child. But don’t stop with just them, this will effect any husbands, wives, children, brothers and sisters, uncles and aunts and every friend you ever had contact with, but you must know best, I am sure they deserve it, right? Let the grief eternal flow wide and free.

3.   Have you preplanned your funeral arrangements? I would expect the answer is no. Let me give you just a quick look into what will be involved. First off what will you leave the funeral team with which to work? Will they be able to rebuild what is left of you so the family will have closure? Remember dead people start to decay quickly. Who needs to be contacted? Did you leave a note? That is always a good place to start, just jot down some friends names on a piece of paper so the family knows who to contact. Don’t make them have to struggle through the brutal task of going on your Facebook page to find them - that would just be cruel. How would you want the service? You know that someone is going to have one for you. Have you left instructions with anyone? If so, please leave their name on the note also. Do you want cremation, burial, do you want to overlook a beautiful pond filled with ducks in your trouble-free lifeless state, and did you let someone know your wishes?  Have you prepaid for it all or is this just another burden your family will have to bear for you, because it will fit in well with the rest of the trauma you have inflicted on them in your death?

4.   Where will this happen? Have you chosen a nice place that will least effect the people who love you, or will you just go with what is most convenient for you? Doing it at home might be convenient for you, a great option for you, as you won’t be around to have to clean it up. The home in which you live you will likely belong to someone, and they most likely don’t have lots of extra cash sitting around for an unpredicted home renovation, but hey… not your problem now. Or you can wander out into traffic and let your personal problems become a total stranger’s also; after all everyone should get a chance to share your turmoil, right? Unfortunately one of the best options, as cruel as it is to those who love you, is to wander off and do it somewhere out of the way. Officers will surely find you at some point and there won’t be much of a clean up cost on the family. All they have to deal with is the not knowing where the hell you went for a while until they get that knock at the door nobody ever wants to get.

As you can see, I personally am not a big fan of suicide. In fact, I am super bitter about it at the moment. I know there are other ways out,  and I know there are people who will help you, and I know that as much as you may not be able to see it through the fog that fills your head, some body loves you, and somebody wants to help you right now.

Please think about the impact on those who love you. Please reconsider! Instead of passing the hurt along, let someone in who can help you through your pain and suffering. Lean on somebody. There are so many places who will even help for nothing, no money, no cost to you, that just want to give you a chance to get through it and prosper in life.

Let someone in before you go and drag everyone through this brutal process of dealing with a preventable suicide.

End of rant.

Ford Rocks The 2014 Edmonton Motor Show

2015 Ford Mustang

As I enter the hall of the Edmonton Expo Centre I was not sure I was in the right place. I Know I arrived a bit early but last year there was quite a bit more waiting. I was hoping this would not be the way the complete show went. An Hour passed and confirmed that there was a lot more to be seen and heard as a Maserati Ghibli strutted her stuff down the corridor, and ever so gently tickled my eardrums with a beautiful exhaust note!

2014 Raptor

Bob Villa took to the podium and after he thanked the many manufacturers for attending and displaying their fine wares he filled us in on what I wanted to hear, this was the second largest auto show in Canada! Today there were 25 2015 Models showing off there goods and well Ford, they brought us a good chunk of that.

Upon entering the Ford booth I was not drawn to what so many have been waiting to see, no I went straight for my one and only true love, The Raptor! ( I can say that as my wife never reads my blogs ) She was sitting pretty in its lovely Ruby Red paint, I could so see myself in one in the future.

2105 F-150

2015 F-150

The bell of the ball though would be a tie here today, a 3 way tie no less. Today Ford Canada was showcasing the eagerly awaited 2015 F150 in all of its military grade aluminium alloy splendor. That's right, Ford has raised the bar yet again and shed 700 pounds in the process, not bad at all, but not quite enough. They have also added the new 2.7 l EcoBoost engine, but this cute little engine knows that it could. It could save you gas, it could give you loads of power, it could benefit you in the weight savings of the whole truck, it could even be one of the best Ford engine designs yet, lets wait and see!

2015 Expedition Platinum

Ford also brought along the new 2015 Expedition, looking quite stunning in it's Platinum trim, with some mild restyling and a change of the engine to a 2.7 l EcoBoost they are following suit of the F-150. They have also given it a new instrument cluster, steering wheel, and a center stack that holds Ford's latest Sync and My Ford touch tech. Add on some other great convenience features like the Ford Truck Apps to help with any mode of off roading or trailering you might have to deal with and this is sure to be a winner.

Mustang tail looking very hot

2015 Mustang

2015 will all where this dash plaque

Then there was this car called the 2015 Mustang. Well the folks in Calgary were none to happy that we saw it here first, but we all know we deserved it. The new mustang was not a disappointment either, with it's European styling fused together with some original Mustang heritage...this one is worth the wait. They paid great attention to the details, the tri-bar lights, the roof line, and the gauge cluster will all take you back. It was no coincidence that this car was redesigned for this year, it was April 9th 1964 when the first Mustang rolled off the assembly line, we are celebrating Mustangs 50th Birthday, and this one came to celebrate with Edmonton!

2015 Lincoln MKC

Lincoln has a looker

Lincoln has a lot to show off also, the all new MKC which was mighty fine. Not wanting to be left out of the quickest growing luxury market segment, the small premium utility segment, Lincoln dove in with the MKC. With the long list of features and some very techie toys I think they should get a fair chunk of the market.

Make sure you stop on by at the Ford Canada booth and check out some of the great things they have going on, the kids can have a talk with Hank and the adults can take a spin around Laguna Seca in the Ford Atlas show truck.

Stephanie CornforthAssistant Product Marketing Manager showing me the much talked about 2014 Fiesta ST

the Tremor is new for this year

you can't say Ford without thing Shelby

Have You Eaten A Ford Lately?

As odd as it sounds, you most likely have eaten something that Ford is using. To streamline efficiency and lessen the carbon footprint they leave behind along with supporting the economy by utilizing by-products that might just go to waste, Ford has stepped in to make use of things you never thought of. Have a look at this and see if you recognize any?

Henry Ford test a Soy Plastic Panel

It all started back in the 40s when Henry Ford built the “Soybean Car.” Creating a project that combined industry with agriculture, he believed that plastic panels made the car safer than traditional steel panels. It didn't hurt that there was a shortage of metal at the time the car was built. Once again, Henry was looked upon as a hero to the people, but then the war broke out and things came to a halt. 

Soy Seats

Fast forward to the present day and his wisdom and ingenuity still shows through in everything Ford produces. With all of the sustainable products Ford is using like soy-based polyurethane foam for seat cushions, seat-backs and headliners, wheat straw and other plant fiber-reinforced plastics are used for vehicle storage bins and interior door panels you would think that is enough, but not for Ford. You will find engineered wood technology (recycled and renewable) used for interior trim, yarns made into seat fabrics, cotton from blue jeans made into interior padding, nylon carpeting made into resin for cylinder head covers and sugars made from corn, beet and cane are examined for use in biodegradable plastic parts. I guess it doesn't matter what Ford you chose, you can rest assured knowing you have done your part in preserving the earth for your children and loved ones. 

When it comes to Reduce, Reuse, and Recycle Ford has made it Job 1!

I think I will go and dig into a Super Duty Steak, feel free to eat your Ford however you chose. 

Thanks to Ford Of  Canada for the great information and to the culinary class at Nait Culinary Arts Class for the excellent meal. 

2014 Fiesta SE

2014 Fiesta SE

Have you ever noticed when you are out cruising for parking stalls how small they are? I know I want to park a bit closer than I do but for fear of the imminent door ding I end up walking a block or so. Often I think I need a smaller car just so I could potentially fit in one of the stalls, either that or a vehicle I just don’t care about - but as a car lover I know that won’t happen in this lifetime.

Ford gave me the opportunity to drive a vehicle that could possibly answer that issue. The Fiesta!

When given it to drive for a week, I was wondering how I would even fit in it, after all it is about as large as a toaster oven. All I remembered of the Fiesta was a little 1978 Fiesta my friend had that he wedged a 5.0L mustang engine in. Went like a scared rabbit, but there was no room to move once you wedged yourself in it.

I figured an open mind was the best way to go. As I approached the Fiesta, it was indeed a very small looking car as I suspected, but the surprise came when I opened the door. There was more than ample room as I dropped myself into the driver’s seat;  it was actually not bad for comfort. I was very impressed with the amenities this car is equipped with such as the heated seats, the large sunroof and even a cute little navigation screen. When I say cute little, I meant it, you would not think that knocking 1.5 inch off the size a touch screen makes a big difference, but it really does, I found it difficult to operate with my fat fingers.

So now here I was in the driver’s seat and I have set the power mirrors, dialed up some rock and roll music on the great My Ford Touch System. Now what? I turn to my phone and ask SIRI, my brain as I call her. “I am in a Fiesta, what would Ken Block do?” she responds with a few links to Gymkahna...oh that is tempting.

I decided instead to head for a mall and find a parking stall; I figure having a small car must have some benefits. It did indeed. There was no issue finding parking stalls and this was good being so close to Christmas as it was. I wandered inside to gather up some presents and as I came out I remembered I was in the Fiesta, where would I fit all of these goodies? Turns out it was not a problem, I opened the hatch and it devoured some pretty big gifts - color me impressed. I thought I could go grab more but my wallet said otherwise.

So as I head home on one of the nastiest days of winter we had seen in a while, I am noticing my other fear of small cars.

Small cars are generally very unstable in the snow and are often tossed about with every bump. This one is very stable on snow covered roads. It actually impressed me - I guess some modern day suspension tweaks and you can have a controllable little car. With the traction control on it wasn't bad at all, I can only imagine how impressive it would be with a good set of winter tires on it rather than these 16 inch 50 series donuts.

Another misconception I had was that it would have no room for people in the back seat; once again it proved me wrong. Although the car does say it seats five, if you want anyone in the back to be comfortable stick to two rear passengers. They will have a semi comfortable ride as long as they are not 6-footers.

I guess what it did for me was restore my faith in what small cars can be, they are no longer just puddle jumpers. The 1.6L engine actually felt peppy and somewhat responsive but I am sure the 5-speed manual gearbox had something to do with that. Rated at 6.9 L/100km, I was pleasantly surprised by the smallish petrol bill I had when it came time to return it, almost as if it was creating its own fuel somehow.

The pros very much outweigh the cons but in the society we live in where bigger equals better my ego would take over and suggest getting something more substantial, maybe a Focus or even a Fusion (My Ego is generally wrong). What I found in the end was something I would consider owning, a car that I could make use of, a car that suits some needs I have, and after all, why would Ken Block have one if they were not fun! 

Disclosure: this vehicle was provided by Ford of Canada

Raptor Christmas Carol

Deck the hall with Raptor tread marks,

Fa la la la la la la la la.

Turn the key and hear the exhaust bark,

Fa la la la la la la la la.

Don we now our race apparel

Then we jump a line of barrels,

Fa la la la la la la la la.

See the blazing tires before us,

Fa la la la la la la la la.

Now we know how they adore us.

Fa la la la la la la la la.

Follow me in merry measure,

While I tell of Christmas treasure,

Fa la la la la la la la la.

Fastly now this truck sure passes,

Fa la la la la la la la la.

Hail the Raptor, ye lads and lasses!

Fa la la la la la la la la.

Sing we now all joyous together,

How we love the winter weather,

Fa la la la la la la la la.

Rudolf The Red-Nosed Raptor

You know Taurus and T-Bird and Mustang and Falcon,
Comet and Cougar and Focus and Fusion.
But do you recall? The most famous Ford of all!

Rudolf the Red-Nosed Raptor,
Had a very shiny hood,
And if you ever saw it,
You would even say lets roll,

All of the other Ford products,
Used to laugh and call him names,
They never let poor Rudolph,
Join in any of the X-Games,

Then one foggy Christmas Eve,
Santa came to say,
Rudolph with your hood so bright,
Won't you launch my sleigh tonight?

All of the other Fords loved him,
As they shouted out yipee,
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Raptor,
That jump will go down in history.

2013 Ford F-150 Lariat

We all know how versatile trucks have become and there is really not a lot of difference from one truck to another… or is there? 

The F-150 has so many of the usual conveniences, four doors, tons of inside cargo storage, the ability to haul a crap load of goodies and enough power to tow a small office building.

Ford has tried something a bit different here though, they are pulling it off with a couple less cylinders than the competition. The EcoBoost serves as one of most efficient ways to get all of the power you need while still having the ability to get some excellent fuel consumption ratings. I think they almost pulled this one off, as I never seemed to lack for power. When I did find myself needing that power it became very thirsty though, if you want to get near the rating you had best be wearing feather slippers and catch a tailwind.

But it's not just about how efficiently this truck gets the job done, it's how well this truck makes it easy for you to do your jobs.

Towing trailers is not the only reason to have a truck, after all when you own a truck you are taking on a new position as " Furniture Mover To Your Friends ."  With great pickups come great responsibility. Ford knows this as well so they have added many tools to make it as easy as possible for you to perform your duties!

Equipped with a box extender, you will be able to move almost twice as much of your friends belongings. Sure, pickup boxes have gotten a bit out of hand with the ride height, but as always Ford is looking out for your safety and they have equipped the F150 with a super convenient tailgate step so you won't break a sweat climbing in and out of the box.

You know how when you load a truck, you always end up going back to the front and trying to tuck some more in? Well, Ford was thinking of you and they went ahead and offer these convenient little steps to give you ease of access to the front of the box or just to give you the needed height to install the tie downs before you venture out. So gone are the days of back breaking work to get the job done, all you need now is a Ford F150 and an extra set of hands to move the couches.

So what I came away with from this drive was that Ford again has shown it is the go-to truck of the masses for a reason. And that reason is convenience. They think of everything so you don't have to.

Bundle it all up in a great looking and super comfortable ride  and you get a vehicle that does almost everything well.

Disclosure : This Vehicle was provided by Ford Of Canada 

2013 C-MAX Energi

 2013 C-MAX Energi

So how bad could driving an electric car be? They have won races, they are changing the way we look at the environment, and well, they even have become status symbols in places. We could look at what companies like Fisker and Tesla have done to make electric cars sexy, but why? We can’t all be the super-wealthy crowd. Most of us commoners can only think of practical things. There are companies making electric cars practical for the masses, and Ford is one of the leaders in this charge!

Let’s take the C-MAX Energi for example. Start out with a compact car that can fit five comfortably, then make sure it has some room to haul some extras when needed. Then out of anyone’s sight hide some high-tech goodies like a battery pack, a charger and an electric motor to make it all go. Top it off with incredible visibility, a great chassis and excellent reliability and you have got yourself a C-Max Energi!

Now I can tell you this would not be a car that girls would be throwing themselves at you in, but it is  a car that a small family could own or just a nice runabout. If you are looking to save some money on your gas bills, this would be the way to go.

With a 38km range on straight battery power it won’t get you far, but when you couple it with the gas engine it comes with, the fuel mileage takes a good jump.  I was not able to do better than 5.0L/100km but it is rated at 4.5L/100km and I could see it doing that especially if you chose to go straight electric and charge after each trip.

It takes 8 hours to recharge fully with the plug in for home, but you can get a 240 volt Leviton charging station installed and it will cut the charge time to three hours. The electricity required is said to run around $25 a month so factor that into your fuel bill.

This car has some other great features that will help you drive it as efficiently as possible.  The SmartGuage with EcoGuide will help you to tailor your driving to get peak fuel economy. With your EV status on one side and your efficiency leaves on the other you will know exactly what is working for you and where you need to work on your heavy foot. 

One more feature in the C-Max Energi is the EV Mode Button. It gives options like electric only(EV MODE), gasoline only (EV LATER), or a radical combination of both (AUTO EV).

I enjoyed driving this car as it  did everything very well and I would recommend it to people who want the EV experience without the massive EV bill. This is a very affordable way to get your feet wet in the market. Who knows? You might fall in love with the ease of operation and change the way you look at cars all together!

Disclosure: This vehicle was provided by Ford Of Canada

2013 Ford Focus ST

So I walk into a dealership and say to the salesperson,

"Today I have $30,000 to spend on something that will carry my family of 4, allows me to carry some larger items I move from time to time, and is able to make me feel like I am a race driver when I want it too. Do you have anything that might work for me?

His reply? "Have you driven the Focus ST?" 

"Well, I have driven the Focus and although I know it will handle the family and carry my goods, it really doesn't make me feel like I'm driving  anything racy."

Again he replies "Have you driven the Focus ST?"

"Well then, show me this car you speak of!"

He takes me over to a Focus on the lot and as we approach from the front all I can see different is an ST badge on the left hand grill opening, I am underwhelmed. As he pulls the car forward and reveals a bit more to me, well I am mildly pleased, as it has a bit of a sportier edge to it from the side. Around back of it I am thoroughly impressed, this car is all business out back from the nicely sculpted rear spoiler down to the intriguing look of the exhaust placement.

So I tell him, "It does have a different look to it, and it is an alright look, but what I am after is the performance driving experience. I want something I can toss around corners and that has enough power to set me back in the seat."

"Let me tell you something about the ST package," he says. "It includes the 2.0L EcoBoost 4 cylinder that pumps out 252 HP and 270 lb/ft of torque. Also there is a close ratio 6 speed manual transmission to pump that power through to the front wheels. It also includes three mode Advanced Trac, - at the push of a button you can go from Standard - designed for all road surfaces, wet dry or snow. Sport - where the Advance Trac only activates when needed. Or Off -  where you are entirely in control of the car with the system shut down."

I am now impressed and I need to drive this car. I climb behind the wheel and can't help notice the near perfect layout of the gauges as I am embraced by the grip of the Recarro seats. With information laid out for quick viewing while driving at a fast speed, it had very much a track car feel to it.

But wait, this one still has the My Ford Touch and navigation in it, this would appear to be a hybrid - part racer, part practical every day driver - this might very well be the ticket I was looking for!
When I fired it up it had a nice subtle rumble to it, I am pleased as the loud soup can exhausts drive me crazy. Now I want to drive this thing.

We take it off the lot and my first thing was to see what it felt like, after all if it did not go the answer would be no and I would return to the lot. Instead what I found was a very punchy little car. The turbo lag you feel in most cars was almost nonexistent. Well, time to open this thing up, I already know it will be practical, my worry is will it be able to keep me entertained.

We get it out to an open highway and start rowing through some gears, they are close ratio but I find the shifter throw to be a bit much for me, nothing that can't be cured by the aftermarket. It accelerates with ease to 100kph in about 6.5 seconds, I was told by the salesman it would top out at over 240kph if we were on an open track.

I have to admit, this car had the ability to make me soil myself and that was exactly what I was after. Even with front wheel drive it was a very mild bit of torque steer and once you knew it was going to be there it became second nature.

I still needed to know how it would handle in the corners as all of the cool kids are running rear drive cars and I still want to play with them. A few off ramps and an open parking lot filled me in. This car stuck, and it was hard to tell it was a front driver. It responded well to everything I asked of it. This could be the one!

We returned to the dealership both of us with grins from ear to ear and I told him I only had one more hurdle to jump but I knew this was the car for me. I had to convince The Wife.

This is never an easy task as she does tend to like practical and sensible cars. For me to want this so I can race was not going to go over well. So I did what any other man would do, I left that part out.

I showed her the brochure and told her how practical it was and how comfortable the family would be even on the longest trips. I let her know about the navigation so she would never be lost again. She was unsure about the manual as she does not like to shift all of the time, I said that part was for me as I will drive it most. I then had to pull the trump card, it has a vanity mirror* under the visor that lights up. Permission granted!

The lesson here is "Happy Wife, Happy Life" and I can still hit the track on the weekends, everybody wins with this car.

 

 
* Disclosure : This vehicle was provided by Ford Of Cananda

*This is a work of fiction.  Any resemblance to actual events or wives, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. My wife likes impractical race cars.